Lillian Talks.

Favorites.

These boots are her favorite.

She wears them on even the sunniest of days, and up until these last few days they have never actually been appropriately worn. I promised myself I'd take her out once spring came around and we had some warm rain showers. Only because I wished I had played in the rain more often when I was a kid. So with the rain, rain, and more rain Spring has brought us, I jumped on the idea. Brian gave me the typical parent response with an "Isn't she going to get sick?". Well, it's warm out and she takes a bath, right?

Sure, I'm getting just as tired of the rain as the next person. But if we're going to have it we might as well make the most of it. April showers bring May flowers. And hey, it's almost May!

If you haven't danced in the rain lately, DO IT! It's fun! :)

And one more favorite before parting.

She loves it and asks me to do it all the time. And I don't mind, because who says keeping up with kids isn't a workout? Do this a few times and you'll feel it.

~Happy Wednesday!~



Randomness.

This crazy Ohio weather has really been dampening my mood over the past week and causing my sinuses to go crazy. It seems like everyday I've woke up with a headache and my whole day is a whirlwind, as if my mind is in a thick fog. But today was better, and the storms last night seemed to break my hazy state. So with that being said, I give you...Randomness.

Easter Egg Hunt:
Saturday morning we decided to take the girls to the Easter Egg hunt. Adelynn, my fearless girl who is rarely shy, decided she really didn't want anything to do with it or the Easter Bunny. I think she became slightly overwhelmed by the amount of people.

Before the search for candy started:

Just as they said "Go!". She picked up about 4 pieces of candy:

And then the crowded started swarming, and my girl started crying and scrambling to get out:

And forget about the Easter Bunny. She looked at me with tears, shaking her head, she said, "I don't want to sit on his lap!"

But I did get one of my girls with the Easter Bunny:

Donuts:
Sunday morning Brian got us donuts. When he got Adelynn down from her chair to change her clothes, somebody decided to help themselves to the rest of her uneaten donut. And he made it pretty obvious.

He doesn't look guilty, does he?

I'm likin'....

These sweet little delicacies. My favorite this time of the year. I've consumed at least 5 or so of these bags this season. ..and Easter's not over yet.

I'm not likin'...

The flooring in our kitchen.

Have you ever been to our home before? It was built in 1948, and I'm pretty sure this is when the floor was laid. No, I'm not kidding. It's probably the ugliest floor I've ever seen. And no matter how hard I scrub, it never looks clean. It has some permanent age spots.

Character, eh?

But here's the scarier part....

Our furnace--I won't even post pictures. I think it's also been here since 1948. It's a beast. Ok, I'm kidding, they didn't actually have furnaces back then, did they? But seriously, it's old. So a new furnace and some new insulation in the walls are in working order. I guess the floors are going to have to wait. Ok, moving along...

I'm lovin'...

She does not like to have her picture taken, so I'm very surprised she let me get this. 

My big girl. I am amazed by how much she has grown. This second year seems to be going even more quickly than the first. It was like one day I woke up and she was talking to me in complete sentences, telling me all she likes and loudly telling me all she dislikes. She yelled at me today and then apologized when I told her she didn't need to yell. "Sorry, I didn't mean to.", she said. When did she get so BIG?

And yes, she still gets her pacifier at night and when she naps. I can't don't want to take it away from her. I've heard the occasional "she's too big for that", but it's a comfort to her, and she only wants it when she sleeps. It works for us. And if she's 12 and sleeps with it under her pillow, I won't tell her friends. :)

Then there's this girl...

She had her neonatal follow-up clinic yesterday and everything checked out beautifully. She's a little over 7lbs now, and developing right where she needs to be. I'm trying not to blink. Just yesterday I was standing over her isolete in the NICU, sobbing, praising God for this tiny, precious life, and praying she would make it through. I can still feel the heat of the bili light, I can still hear the dings of her monitor.

And I'm not going to lie..adjusting to being a mommy of 2 has been quite overwhelming at times. But it has never seemed so rewarding. And I'm enjoying every minute of it..

With that said, It's late, and the little stirs I'm hearing will soon be turning into hungry cries.

Happy Hump Day!

Tired Baby, Tired Mommy.

It's getting late and I'm holding a tired baby girl who is fiercely fighting her sleep. We, in our infinite wisdom, decided to make a late evening trip to the grocery store. We didn't, however, take into consideration it would be her normal fussy time of the evening. And I realize, though I may think my baby is cute even when she is crying, others might not feel the same way. The stares we recieved proved this. About 10 aisles in we began moving at a much faster pace to get out quickly. And by the time we reached the checkout line, she quieted down and fell asleep. We'll just finish tomorrow.

But she is ohh so cute, no matter what her mood.

The Anniversary Card.

Thought I'd share the card I recieved for our Anniversary.
For those of you who know us, you know this card screams "Brian"....

Happy Anniversary to me. :)

Smiles for Daddy (not for mommy!)

I had been trying so hard to get Lillian to smile, with no success. She was starting to get fussy when Brian walked through the door from work. He walked up behind me just as I was getting ready to turn the camera off, and she gave him a huge smile, of course! She loves her daddy, for sure. 



A mother's confession.

I've had moments where I've questioned my ability as a mother. Moments when I wonder if I'm doing the right thing for my kids, or times I've compared myself to other moms and feel in some ways maybe I've fallen short. Other times I've just simply had some 'bad mom' moments. Moments when I find myself thinking if any of my motherly peers knew, I'd surely be labeled the worst mom in the world.

One of those moments happened when Adelynn was about 18 months old. Brian had the day off and was upstairs napping. I had been downstairs folding clothes in the laundry room. I thought Adelynn had made her way upstairs, as she sometimes did when Brian was home. As I walked up stairs to put the clothes away, Adelynn was nowhere to be found. Brian, of course, still dead alseep. I ran over to him and shook him quickly shouting "where's Adelynn!", knowing full well he had absolutely no idea where Adelynn was. Afterall, I was the one who was supposed to be watching her! I went into panic mode. My heart starting thumping as I stumbled down the stairs, doing a quick circle around our house realizing she was not in the house anywhere. It was when I reached for the door, I realized it wasn't latch. She was outside somewhere. Thoughts started swirling through my head as I ran around the outside of our house screaming her name, expecting to find her outside on the swing set. But she wasn't there. What if she got hit by a car? What if someone had taken her?

And then I saw her.. she was about 3 houses down, across the street, on the neighbor boy's tricycle!! She smiled and waved as I ran toward her. How could I have been so neglectful!? What if something had happened to her? I couldn't have ever lived with myself. How could I have been such. a. bad. mother.

Or how about the time Brian and I put her to bed, only to realize later neither of us had given her dinner? Fail.

Lillian hasn't been gaining weight...

She's been at 6lbs 10oz  for about 3 days now, and they expect her to be gaining about an ounce a day.

And as a nursing mom, it all hit me today...

What if my dieting and calorie counting has something to do with it?

I can't help but think it could be my fault she's not gaining. Thinking about it today made me just a little depressed. It breaks my heart actually.

So I'm officially done with the dieting, and another page is going in my book of bad mommy moments....

I'm not a perfect mother. In fact, there aren't too many times as a mother when I've really been sure. Sure that what I'm doing is absolutely, without a doubt, the right thing.

And I know I won't always have the answers, and I will make mistakes. But I do know one thing for sure...I love my girls dearly. And I pray even through my inadequacies, they will know this.

Oh, happy weekend.

I love weekends. Especially weekends when we have nowhere to be but here. And that's exactly what kind of weekend it was. Brian didn't have to go into work on Saturday, so we just relaxed at home. Oh how I love when he's home on the weekends. Our biggest outings were to the grocery store and to church. Brian's Uncle Dick and Aunt Alyce happened to be in town so we also met up with them for dinner, which was nice because we do not get to see them often. It was a great balance of relaxation, cleaning, and getting out for a bit.

We made brownies this weekend...

Yes, we had brownies in our house.

We don't anymore.

We kind of let the diet go this weekend. I did, however, say no to girl scout cookies when we were at the store. There's a first time for everything. We'll get back at it tomorrow, though.

More smiles have been coming. I never get tired of these smiles..

                          

I love how her little personality is coming out.

 

This one is blurry but I love it.



I can tell she's more like me and her sister is more like Brian. Adelynn was always a pretty laid back, easy going baby. Lillian is a little more high maintenance and requires a little more attention. Yeah, she's a lot like me. :) But we love her bunches!

A little bit more of that personality...

We tried the Bumbo. She didn't like it. She told me so.

Well, it's a new week. Back to work, diets, laundry and housework. Happy week..hope it's a good one for all!

I cheated.

Ok, so I didn't really cheat. But yesterday I saved everything up for this one little treat...

I ate healthy all day. So when Brian walked through the door last night from I work, I confidently said "I'm getting ice cream tonight." I didn't even need to wait long for a response, because he said...

No explanation needed...

And then he said, "Get the expletive, expletive camera out of my face."

OK. (He's a little grouchy after work sometimes!)

So we both got ice cream. Plus we were celebrating...

And who could say no to that. :)